We picked up my husband’s new wedding band at the jeweler today. I was less than thrilled with this development. This new ring meant that within 8 months, neither me nor my husband were still wearing the wedding bands with which we said our vows or that were blessed by our priest at our ceremony. My vows promised that I would forever take the hand of my husband and he mine because with these rings we wed. Yet, now the rings are different through little fault of our own.
Let me give you some background. My engagement ring was a beautiful surprise. It was also perfectly me. A round solitaire on a white gold band. It is classically perfect. It is the kind of ring that you can wear for your whole life which is good because that is exactly what I planned on as I accepted his proposal. Later, we picked out wedding bands, of which I still chose something classically beautiful that would complement my engagement ring. I chose another ring in which I would never wear another. My husband, however, just chose a ring since he wasn’t thrilled with the idea of wearing one. He commented often that when his job title grew, he would buy another wedding band as he pleased. This saddened me because there is something special about your wedding band and the meaning associated with it. But, since I know he feels these things in his heart, I wasn’t going to press the issue, rather I would see how things in our lives developed.
3 months into marriage, I took my ring to get cleaned since I hadn’t since our beach honeymoon and summer pool time and yard work etc. Upon examination, the jeweler told me that a diamond is loose in the band. I inquired how this may have happened since I’d worn it for such a limited time. He mulled and suggested that maybe it was rubbing on my engagement ring. I wasn’t happy since they had notched my engagement ring to suit the wedding band. Needless to say, I walked out of the jeweler without my ring. It felt weird and empty. A week later he called to say that the ring came back from repair and he wasn’t happy and he had to send it to the manufacturer. I would be another week without my ring.
Finally, my ring came back, same certifications as before, looking stunning, and assured that the problem was solved. However, to my eye the metals of my two rings didn’t match. White gold wears with the wearer, so I knew that they hadn’t returned my same ring. It was a new ring or a new version of my ring. When I shared this realization with my husband he laughed remarking on my desire to never have a new ring. I didn’t find him funny.
Now, fast-forward to last week. My husband plays with his ring constantly. On, off, roll on the table, put it on different fingers, etc. He always wears it, but always plays with it. So, the jeweler suggested that he go down a size. This means that he has to trade in his ring for a smaller ring since his contemporary metal isn’t able to be resized. So, we pickup his new ring which fits much better, and we both have new rings 8 months into our marriage. I know that materialistically this does not mean anything, and spiritually, we can have our priest bless our new rings, perhaps on our first anniversary, but it hurts my heart a little to not still have the same symbols with which we shared our vows.